I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Farmville is her only friend.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
