ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Randomize
