Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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