brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself