What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.