I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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