Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(816): View more from Missouri

I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up

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(504): View more from Louisiana

I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!

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(509): View more from Washington

I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.

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(630): View more from Illinois

yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed

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29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Read it at the TFLN blog
(760): View more from California

i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.

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(515): View more from Iowa

I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?

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(901): View more from Tennessee

The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.

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