just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.