and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
