and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
