i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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