apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize