Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
