just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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