things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
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