i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
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