why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i would punch a child for taco bell
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
40s are totally the cure
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize