I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
