get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
