I just saw a hot homeless man
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
