i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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