I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
