I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
