I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Are my feet made of real feet?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
