i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize