Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
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