for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
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