i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
