i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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