We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
