just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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