Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
