I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
