are you still at the devil's house?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
