You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
