There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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