this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
