Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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