Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
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