YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize