In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
