That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
You can't special order awesome
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
