Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
