To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
