Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
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