Dude, I woke up at my ex's house. I am spooning her half naked roommate. There is a pizza on my shoulder. I need you to come pick me up.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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