Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
