we made out on top of his cat.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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