they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
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