giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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