i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
