I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
