Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
