Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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