i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
