Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
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I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
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I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
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