when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
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Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
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I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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